Help me take a stand against blood cancer
Alright folks, it's here. It's finally happening. The moment we've all wondered and dreamed, and in some cases dreaded, has arrived.
I'm doing the worlds greatest shave. It's official and this is me making everyone aware so that I can't back out. But I need your support to make this practical joke on myself worthwhile.
Most of you have never seen me with hair shorter than my shoulders. It's been 15 years since my last hair cut, and about the same since I've had a shave. There are photos to prove as much. I don't do this lightly, but recently I've lost a couple of people I deeply valued in my life to the big C, and so now its time to make a tit of myself in honour of their memory. I know they would have loved this.
This also marks a milestone in my fear and loathing of hairdressers and bad haircuts, and is, in its own way, the ultimate bad hair day. But to get there, and I do mean all the way there, I need your help.
I'm making this more like a gofundme or a kickstarter. We're going to have targets and goals that I want to meet before you get to see this potato peeled and this mussel debearded. So the goals are as follows
$500 or more gets just a haircut. Nothing more or less. This is the least we can do to raise money for cancer research. This is 100 people giving up a single flat white or a long mac. This is half a cheese sandwich from the servo or a third of a pint of guinness. This is the silver from between the couch cushions or out the center console. I know we can do better, and I know you want to see me defoliated.
$1000 or more gets a cut and Colour. Not a bad effort all round and every dollar counts, but if youre serious about seeing me scalped, we're going to have to push it a little further. I havent grown this mane for 15 years to give it away for a palty thou, but you will get to chose the colour and style of my new do. If you donate over $50 you go in the draw to chose the new cut and colour, and if you donate multiples of $50, you get multiple shots at the top prize
$2000 The top comes off the egg. The Shearer's earn their supper. The locks are lost. I go full chrome dome, baldy bonce, naked noggin. On the way there, bidders over $50 will get to chose how we travel. Do I get a mullet, like a true aussie legend? Do we rock and roll with a Skullet, a la Strapping Young Lad or The Predator? Who's going to make me look like Friar Tuck and give me the Monk's Meridian? If we hit it, you decide!
And because we have to have a stretch goal
$5000 and its all coming off. The Hair, the Beard, I'll even let you wax my back and record the ensuing whimpering. This is the Peeling of the Potato. The Debearding of the Mussel. A sight that hasn't been seen for a thousand years or more.
To put this in context, this is 100 people donating $50 each. That's a round of drinks for you and three friends. It's a pair of jeans on tax time special. It's 1/3 of a shitty flash tattoo at a cheap studio that only takes cash and is owned by nazi bikies. It's like... one box of warhammer, or a single MTG started deck. You can't even get a bottle of wine at a restaurant for this price. I know you want to see it. You know you want to see it. You know I don't want to see it. You know I'm terrified of how many chins I'm hiding back there, and what the phrenologists are going to say about the shape of my skull. So what are you waiting for. Make it all go away. And get printed photos you can keep in your wallet or on your phone for when you have a bad day and need some cheering up. You can look at it and say to yourself "I made that idiot look like an idiot for a good cause, life isn't so bad", and you'll be right. Because I'll be the one looking like an idiot for a good cause, and you'll have made it happen.
So come on, gang.
Make me look like a bloody idiot, and have a laugh for a good cause.
Donations to the link below so I can see who's making me look like an idiot, and who's on the Style Council picking my new look!
Love,
Your Impact
Help me earn the Transportation badge. That's enough to provide a month of free transport for people who are too ill to drive after chemotherapy treatment.
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Wrap Around Care
Raised $50,000
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Research Outcomes
Raised $25,000
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Clinical Trial
Raised $10,000
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Financial Support
Raised $7500
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Discovery
Raised $4800
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Transportation
Raised $2500
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Personalised Treatment
Raised $1000
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Place to Stay
Raised $560
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Helping Hand
Raised $250
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Lab Equipment
Raised $53
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Off the Mark
Raised $1
I’m $745 away from my next impact milestone. Please help me reach it.
Donate nowMy Achievements
Help me earn the Discover badge. That’s enough to fund 3 months of laboratory costs for a research project to discover better treatments for blood cancer.
I’m $4040 away from my next impact milestone. Please help me reach it.
Donate now
Signed Up!
$1
$250
$560
$4,800
$10,000
Thank you to my Sponsors
Lachlan Brown
2025-07-27 12:31:07
$211
B And G Hume
2025-07-30 18:06:54
Well done. A wig at least from the main of yours.
$126.62
Shane Burrows
2025-07-24 22:31:52
Take! It! Off!
$106.12
Cam Love
2025-07-25 12:34:15
Cannot wait to see that lovely dome of yours
$106.12
Ash
2025-07-25 16:08:13
Off with ya hair! Great work James, proud of you! ❤️
$106.12
Karen Lowe
2025-07-26 16:05:14
I am praying you get there! I can't wait to see you with no hair :)
$106.12
Nell Arvidson
2025-07-24 22:32:04
Godspeed my dude 🫡
$100
Lisa O’sullivan
2025-08-05 08:31:10
Looking forward to seeing the results James!
$100
Uncle Steve And Aunt Heather
2025-07-25 01:51:10
Will require witnessed video evidence from your dad!
$85.48
Kate Hume
2025-07-27 13:25:38
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick'em in a stew
$80
Lili
2025-07-27 14:27:00
Loosing those locks will bring me great sadness. But onwards Jimmy!
$69
Katie Leslie
2025-07-24 22:15:07
Good onya James!! Always knew that mane was destined for something special
$67.33
Megan Hume
2025-08-20 16:44:59
Buzz buzz buzz
$57.30
Denise Stubber
2025-08-14 14:04:49
Well done James hope you make your target
$57.30
Alexei Gafan
2025-07-26 03:58:40
$54.12
Lily
2025-07-25 13:00:31
Excited for your new area ✨
$54.12
Filicity
2025-07-25 10:07:30
Go James! Proud of you my dude 🥹
$53.52
Lauren Bailey
2025-07-25 12:09:40
$33.15
Emma Hyam
2025-07-28 14:32:28
$27.81
Anonymous
2025-07-25 04:02:20
You are the man
$25.75
Cathie Donaldson
2025-07-31 10:34:16
Remarkable😝
$22.58
Alex Papps
2025-07-24 23:47:32
$22.58
Jo And Adam X
2025-07-24 23:05:48
$22.58
Toby
2025-08-06 14:07:33
$20
Kaye Adams
2025-08-11 04:43:01
$20
Xavier S.
2025-07-24 23:46:53
Hope you make a wig.
$20
Your support is changing lives with the Leukaemia Foundation
50 years of supporting Australians with blood cancer
The World's Greatest Shave is the flagship fundraising initiative of the Leukaemia Foundation. This iconic campaign helps us provide wraparound health services for patients and their families – and powers groundbreaking research and campaigns for change.
Fuelled by our community of patients, carers, healthcare professionals, researchers, specialists, and supporters just like you, we're committed to achieving our goal of zero lives lost to blood cancer by 2035.
